Monday, March 21, 2011

Support A Sister

I'd like to complain today...

I've been hearing these commercials on the radio lately about breastfeeding.  These little voices talking about "poor little Johnny" whose mom feeds him formula and doesn't, in so many words, love him enough to nurse him.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

IS THIS A JOKE?

The breastfeeding nazis have go to be stopped!  How can women continue to degrade other women on this topic?  Isn't it enough that every time we turn around we are being told by one source or another that we're too tall, too thin, too short, or too fat.  We have the wrong shoe size, hair color, car, job, interests...  for heaven sakes our teeth aren't even white enough.

Do we really need to be told that we are less of a mother if we bottle feed our babies?

I breastfed 3 of 5 of my children.  I didn't like it and couldn't wait to be done.  (Each of the three were supplemented with bottles and were on bottles after the first 6 weeks or so.)  I envied the lady that taught the breastfeeding class that I took - she said she did it because she loved it.  Great for her.  But, please oh please, respect my choice to bottle feed my baby.  Support me as another mom, sister, daughter, friend... 

After number 1 was born, my world was turned upside down.  Everyone kept telling me that nothing would be the same - I didn't believe them.  All at once, I couldn't go outside and do the things that I used to do at the feedlot with my husband.  That's where I loved to be.  Needless to say, I was a little depressed, breastfeeding wasn't going well, I was exhausted (because I couldn't/wouldn't ask for help), and I just wanted my old life back.

With each subsequent pregnancy, I dreaded the breastfeeding subject.  Number 4 had a few health issues and wasn't able to "latch on" or "suck" properly.  I chose not to pump and hid behind his troubles so that I could GIVE. HIM. A. BOTTLE.  That was the quickest and easiest I had ever bounced back from a pregnancy. 

We all know that "when Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"!  I was HAPPY with bottle feeding this little guy.  I knew how much he was getting.  He was happy.  He slept well.  I slept well.  This was clearly the better choice for me.  So, why do we have to make these new mom's fear and be ashamed of their choice not to breastfeed?  Why? 

By the time number 5 came around, I was 38 and had the guts to stand up to the "breastfeeding nazis"!  I started right away with the bottle in the hospital.  Despite the looks on the nurses faces, I knew my baby would be just fine.


So far, the kids are well beyond there ages academically. They ARE a little goofy socially...
 I like that about them.

We have bonded. 
Bonding comes from time together - reading, walking, watching TV, playing games, eating supper together, sitting on the floor doing nothing, homework...

And they know that I love them, as they would say, "more than God loves anything".

I right this in hopes that one new struggling mother might read this and, through her tears (I know what that's like), will feel that her baby will be just fine with that bottle of formula.  My doctor even said so. 

I support you in your choice to bottle feed that baby OR breastfeed that baby.

When momma's happy, everybody's happy.

I'm stepping off my soap box now.

Blessings-
B

10 comments:

Lisa Sigmon said...

Amen Becky! I totally agree. I breast fed both of mine, but it wasn't easy. They only got the breast milk for the first 6 weeks and then I started to wean them so I could go back to work. It was so much better after that, because I was like you and knew what they were finally getting. Logan didn't trive or gain any weight until I put him on formula. Both of mine are somewhat normal kids!! As normal as I was growing up at least! They are good students making great grades.

Janet said...

Ummmm.... where were you and your soap box about 5 years ago when I was a FAILURE as a mom?!? You should publish this everywhere!!!

B said...

I think it's probably scary how many of us feel this way!!

Jade Jymson said...

How very very dare you try and dismantle the wall of guilt and shaming so carefully constructed by us lactivists !!!

I'll have you know it took a great deal of time and effort to get to this level of formula feeder shunning and shaming and I resent you trying to undo all our good work !!!

B said...

See what I mean? Thanks for proving my point.

CheriP said...

Amen sister!!!

Carol said...

I agree with you! Women should support each other not judge! When I wasn't able to br-feed my oldest I felt like such a failure....14 years later she's just fine...brilliant, happy and beautiful even.
I was able to br-feed my other 4 children and wouldn't you know it they're just fine too.
We definately don't need another thing to make us feel guilty.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

B said...

Thanks for the comment, Carol!

Erin said...

I really appreciate your words! I was given a link to your blog by your sister-in-law. I had to stop breastfeeding recently, and it was before I was ready or had planned, and I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and sadness. Reading your words helped me feel better and I was able to relate to you completely! Thanks for this post! If you'd like to check out my blog, it's http://solssibling.blogspot.com

Again, thanks!
-Erin

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